Carry my own cross

“All sins are attempts to fill voids.” - Simone Weil

I never knew what it was like—-to inhabit my body. 

I was always

inhabiting

others bodies in my body

since the cave opened and my heart beheld the world. 

My soul stood still in another world—----a world out of this world

a striding world within worlds 

of other sacred worlds. 

I fed on a breast that fed on me

and the motherlessness of this

hollowness haunted me.

I knelt to a father on the take, 

who’s own empty house thought mine

could fill his ache. 

These days, people pretend there is no such thing as evil.  

Purporting to existential kink–

non-duality popular among the spiritual elite.  

I wonder if I can trust those people—-

the ones who think there is no evil. 

The ones whos indifference

ignorance

ignites in the eyes

 of soulless bodies

within bodies

who kneel at the feet of the 

heartless. 

The ones who have not dared to look at a vacant house,  

a house inhabited by some other house

and pretend that any house

 is a home.

Love knew the way through to the river of truth. 

I had to feel her pulse through his gentle strong hands,

to finally feel me. 

Truth said, 

Fill the vacant house with you, 

and then; wild flowers, burning fires, 

water stones, crow feathers, songs, poems, 

books on the tree of life. 

I pushed out the other vacant bodies, by filling my body

with my soul, heart desires, and sacred water grief.  

There is a cross I alone must bear in my aloneness.

No more using other bodies to fill my body, 

or letting others fill their vacant bodies with my body.

Now, only whole bodies penetrate my body. 

No more invasion.

My body is in my soul, I fill my body with me.